


Forever a mooncalf

by orphan_account



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Anders is my baby, Anders!hurtsies, Bragi ≠ Anders, Bragi/Idunn isn't a healthy relationship, F/M, M/M, Onesided Love, awkward!Anders, blackmailing, but I like to see him hurt, evil!Colin, michelle with one or two l, reaaally dubious consent, st00pid beyotches, vulnerable!Anders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2013-10-23
Packaged: 2017-12-26 12:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You see, noone really cares about Anders.<br/>Sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.<br/>The people who associate with him are either his family, want him for his Bragi-powers or stay with him, because he convinces them.<br/>But there are also people who only want him for his body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders loses his virginity.

You see, noone really cares about Anders.  
Sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.  
The people who associate with him are either his family (and don’t have much of a choice on the matter), want him for his Bragi-powers or stay with him, because he convinces them. With his Bragi-powers of course. It’s either one of those reasons or a mix of the above.  
Taking that information into account, Anders’ first time makes the perfect example for another group: the people who want Anders for his body.

\---

Anders loses his virginity at the 20th birthday of a friend.  
Anders, being invited because he is the only one with a brother of age who can purchase the alcohol, is surprised when Kara starts talking to him.  
He is a bit younger than anyone else and a bit awkward around girls, but he had a crush on Kara for quite some time and really doesn’t want to mess this up.  
He knows that Kara recently broke up with her boyfriend, so he understands it when she keeps drinking even after she entered a stage of complete drunkenness.  
He is incredibly thrilled when Kara starts kissing him and slurs something about him having the most incredible arse and finding them a room to ‘be alone’. Something like this has never happened to him before, so it doesn’t take much to get him up for the task.  
The act itself is over quite quickly (it’s Anders’ first time after all), but he still feels incredibly good and warm afterwards.  
His mood is only slightly dampened when she leaves immediately after throwing up next to the bed.  
His mood is dampened slightly further when he sees her making out with another guy not thirty minutes later.  
He is a bit sad when she never calls him or when she ignores him everytime he sees her.  
He is never invited to a party again.


	2. 2. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders meets Sascha and 'frees' her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sascha appears in 1x07

Its years later and Anders understood that the only way he can make himself stop being hurt about feeling used is using other people.  
His family all but cast him out, because they are disgusted by his way of treating people.  
It hurts, but he acts as if he doesn’t care. It’s easier and it is what they expect of him.  
About a month before Axl’s 21st he meets Sascha.  
She has this air of inviolability about her that draws him to her. At the same time she reeks of utter frustration.  
It’s painfully clear that she’s a virgin and it’s equally painfully clear that she is incredibly curious and interested when he starts talking to her.  
It just takes the littlest of pushes to make her let go of her inhibitions and they do it in the lavatory.  
Anders gives it his very best and he bets she never wants to go back to being a virgin afterwards ever again.  
She thanks him and gives him her number, but of course, he never calls.  
Now that he has freed her from that bigoted beliefs she is able to get all the people she wants, so why bother her. His work is done.

\---

When she and a few other women attempt to castrate him some time later, call him a debauchee, accuse him of ‘ruining their lives’ and make him into their scapegoat, he doesn’t say anything.  
Because that is what he is good for.


	3. 3. Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bragi and Idunn

Secretly he had known that this would happen the moment Gaia first called him ‘my Lord Bragi’ directly after her disastrous goddess ceremony.  
At first he tries to fight it. He keeps seeing her everywhere and her face popped up a few times while he was busy under the shower, but she is Axl’s girlfriend, for crying out loud!  
And he’s not even attracted to her!  
And still he wants her so badly it hurts and sometimes when he’s alone and forced to think about everything, there is this little voice inside that almost manages to convince him that this is right, this is how it should be, this is destiny.  
So when Gaia turns up at his doorstep he doesn’t ask himself how she got inside the building and he doesn’t think about the consequences of his actions.  
Because you are only responsible for something when you had a choice, right?  
This is how it is supposed to be, this is his obligation as Bragi and as Anders.

\---

He can see it in her face.  
She despises him and she wants this just as much as he does.   
He can’t look her in the eyes. He can’t. He tells himself, that as long as he doesn’t look in her eyes, this is just his duty. This is just about the gods, not the vessels.  
But that thought leaves him aching.  
He wants it to be about him. Why can’t anything ever be about him?  
He looks at her and sees that she obviously can’t look at him either. It hurts, but he tells himself again ‘This is how it’s supposed to be. This is my role in this play.’

\---

He remembers Helen and their relationship that wasn’t even a real relationship.  
At first he had thought that he loved Helen, but then he realised, he didn’t even know the woman.  
But she was making him feel important, as if he mattered, even if it was just this thing inside of him.  
But it was never enough and he found that, aside from the mind-blowing sex, their entire relationship was lacking substance and he noticed the obvious difference in their levels of power. But he didn’t say anything.  
If he doesn’t say anything he can still pretend, that this is about him.

\---

The most painful thing about Axl’s reaction to finding out about what happened between his brother and his girlfriend is not the jagged cut on his neck.  
It is the look of complete exasperation in everyone’s eyes. It isn’t even disappointment, because they would have had to put faith in Anders to feel disappointed.  
It is so painfully obvious that everyone expected him to be not strong enough to resist temptation.  
As he is slowly falling unconscious Anders chides himself. After all this years he really ought to be prepared for what image his brothers have of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry Anders/Helen and Anders/Gaia shipers :(  
> I'm truly sorry, but everytime I think about Bragi/Idunn I feel a shiver running down my back, it really kreeps me out because it seems so rapey to me :/


	4. 4. Pact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deals with Loki have consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, I'm reeeally unsure about this chapter.  
> this si technically non-con, so I'm taggin it as such.  
> pleeeassse give me feedback, as I said, I'm terribly unsure. :/

To make a deal with Loki, god of tricks and lies, can only end bad.  
Anders knows that. But he doesn’t really care.  
When Colin comes to him with plans for ruling over Auckland, no need to beat around the bush, Anders sees his chance. His family is in danger and this godly psychopath is the one endangering them. There are few things Anders wouldn’t sacrifice for even a tiny bit of control over this madman.  
So he promises to serve Loki when in return Loki stays away from his family.  
But, of course, there’s a catch.  
Anders was almost waiting for Colin to refer to the ‘serve Loki’ part. When he does Anders is only mildly surprised, because it seems to come out of the blue. One minute they were talking about Colin’s manifesto at Anders’ flat, the next Colin is telling Anders to bend over for him.  
“What?” he asks after a moment of silence.  
“You heard me, Bragi. Your master is telling you to present yourself to him!”  
Anders doesn’t know what he finds more disgusting: Colin’s demand or the way he is demanding it.  
He sighs. “Ah. The ‘serving’ part, yes?”  
“You’ve got it right, my handsome little serf. But hush now and let me inspect my property.”  
Anders shudders, but doesn’t object. He bends over his table and is impossibly glad that he doesn’t have to look into the lecherous eyes he feels travelling over his still clothed backside.  
He bites back a yelp when Colin grabs and fucking squeezes.  
“Oh, the things your suits are doing to me. But I bet I’d love your arse even more without these inhibiting pants.”  
Then he almost tears Anders’ trousers from his hips.  
Anders hides his face in his arms. It’s bad enough to be bared like this, he won’t let Colin have the satisfaction of seeing him give up.  
He tries to calm himself. He has been with guys before, has even found it quite pleasurable. Maybe this encounter will be too?  
It isn’t.  
This thing is entirely set out to be humiliating for him.  
Colin is using his spit to open him up and thrusts into him far too early and Anders has to bite his arm to stifle his whimpers.  
The lawyer keeps missing his prostate on purpose and doesn’t care a bit, whether Anders is enjoying this or not.  
It seems like Colin has been thrusting into him forever when it is finally over.  
Colin sighs contentedly and doesn’t remove himself for quite some time but whispers mortifying things to Anders, who is trying to hide a shameful erection.  
Finally, after an eternity, Colin heads out and leaves his pr-guy to his misery.

\---

Only a few days later Colin starts watching Dawn in decidedly uncomfortable ways.  
When Anders addresses the issue Colin grins wolfishly and says “You know exactly how to distract me for a while…”  
This is his purpose, Anders thinks while Colin is mercilessly taking him, Dawn just in the adjoining room, making calls. He is little more than a soulless sex-object, so why not use it to keep the ones he loves safe?


	5. 5. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rvenge is usually not a good reson to do anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooookay, this is the reason I wrote this whole story.  
> I know the chapter isn't exactly long, but I think I made my feelings clear......

He has had some kind of crush on her ever since he talked to her for the first time, back when she was trying to frame Axl.  
But then she suggested sacrificing Mike when Axl was to be forced into a marriage with Hel.  
Then she started seeing Colin and then, suddenly and quite ironically, Mike.  
He never lost interest in her and when he heard of the ‘goddess healer’ thing, he wanted to help her. They really made a good team.  
And then Mike went and shat on everything.  
Anders wondered if there was anything he could do to help her, but he knew that she was probably too proud to show her weak side to anyone.  
So the picture of her in her underwear in HIS bedroom came as a surprise.  
What the hell was going on?   
Anders dumped Axl and hurried back to his flat, where he found a fully clothed Michelle.  
Which left him even more confused.  
Until Michelle talked about her idea of a revenge-fuck-list.  
Anders’ face fell for a split second, but he managed to catch himself quite quickly. Of course. It was sort of with him a known defiler of his brothers’ girlfriends and all.  
But her expecting him to immediately say yes hurt. It hurt even more because it was her.  
But he had wanted to help her and this was her asking for his help. So he could hardly say no, could he?

\---

Sex with Michelle was just as amazing as he had expected it to be and for some short blissful moments he could convince himself that she was here for him, not because she wanted to hurt his brother.  
But then it was over and he noticed that she actually needed to be alone for some time, so he said something about a drink and left the room.  
He came back a minute later and eavesdropped at the door.  
The sound of her quiet sobbing broke his heart. He longed to just go in there and comfort her and make it all better, but that was not his place.  
Michelle had made her choice and she had not chosen Anders for his kind words. If she had wanted that, she would have visited Ty.  
So he sat down in front of his bedroom door and waited for her to calm herself and tried to ignore the steel knife that kept cutting into his heart with every sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor anders and his onesided love :(  
> as for the next chapter: the +1 part! i have two ideas for that, but i just can't decide :/ feel free to leave your guess ;)

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of Anders-feels.  
> I had the idea for this fic when I watched the newest episode (3x11).  
> At first I thought the whole Anders/Michelle thing was hilarious and felt a bit bad for Michelle, but then I rewatched it and I noticed that, just for a split second, after Michelle tells Anders that he is on top of her revenge-fuck list, Anders actually looks sad and disappointed. (and I refuse to be told that I imagine things. Dean is an incredible actor, so there is a reason why he looks sad when he should be celebrating)  
> Like, he must think his only uses are Bragi and being a sex-toy.  
> But because he is a very kind and considerate person and sees that Michelle obviously needs some mindless fuck and he probably thinks that's the only thing he's good for, he agrees.  
> (I'll stop my ranting here, cause there'll be an entire chapter about these things...)  
> Please give me feedback and tell me what you think! :)  
> (btw: I haven't forgotten about my other story, but I just can' find any inspiration for it right now, pls 4give me.)


End file.
